Deja Vu

Lara! Lara?? ÒMÓLÀRÁ!!

All I could hear was a deafening silence, untill she tapped my leg dragging me back to reality. 

Jesus! Lara are you okay?

She asked with a worried look.

Have been calling you....

I'm sorry, I cleared my throat.

I....I got carried away. 

It's fine, would you like a cup of coffee before we begin?

Absolutely... Thank you, I smiled at her. 

She walked over brisky and poured me the coffee in a black mug, the scent went up straight to my nostril almost blocking my nose. 

Thank you! I said again.

You're welcome Lara.

Would you mind we play some classical music hun? You know just to lighten the mood, but it's fine if you....

No! No! I interrupted it's okay you can. 

Music it is then!.......

After a few minutes she came back and sat on the couch, her leg crossed with a tape recorder in her hand. 

So if you're ready Lara, you can start. She said softly before pressing the start button on the recorder. 

I heaved a big sigh before clearing my throat.

I still miss him so much, I whispered as I hold the mug close to my lips to have a sip of the coffee before dropping it, squeezing both my hands hard to avoid them shaking. 

I miss my old self around around him, i missed us, i miss everything we ever did together. Even though he did me bad till I became rotten myself, he was my first you know.... I said with a chuckle.

That man was sweet, kind, patient and and... I stammered.

It's okay Lara, just take in a deep breath. 

I did and continued again.

He was in my sleep again Nana, I said shakingly.

I ....

Oh my! Nana said and came over to my side rubbing my shoulder. 

What happened dear? She asked with concern.

This time I felt his presence so real, I could feel him Nana! I sobbed.

He had finger- fucked me senselessly, I had no idea I was moaning so loud. Lucy had to come knock my door to know if I was okay. 

God! I felt utterly embarrassed.

The sensation I felt was too strong. By the time I woke up, my nipples hurt so bad, the hickeys on my neck were so red like tomatoes. I saw the traces of a wet footsteps exactly as the size of his foot coming from the bathroom.

I felt his scent so strong in my nostril, one would think he just walked past that second.

Do you think I'm insane Nana??

I asked while she shaked her head. 

The doctor thinks I'm hallucinating.

It's driving me nuts and tormenting and at the same time pleasurable.

You know there was a time I touched myself out of fraustration with his clothes on..... I felt so ashamed, I didn't mean to kill him that way, it was a mistake! A stupid accident. I sobbed hard.

Shuusss it's okay Lara, Nana whispered as she rubbed my back gently.

Why can't he just leave me alone! I want to move on he's a past, he just won't let me. 

It's been years! And each time I try to move on, he comes back and torment my soul with painful pleasure I can't even resist.

Don't you think it's spiritual Nana??? I asked shakingly.

Lara....... Come here, she drew me closer and gave me a hug. 

To be continued......